Finding the light inside me
By James PARK
Table of Contents
The Beginning of Darkness (Chapter 1-10)
1. Inside the Rainy Room - Kang Taejoon's Lonely Night in Despair
2. A strange voice in the rain - an accidental encounter at a hardware store
3. Inside the Blurry Mirror - The Moment You Face Your Lost Dream
4. Between the hammer and the nail - the small warmth felt by moving hands
5. Question in the Dark - A Night to Reflect on Yourself
6. Awkward Table - First Meals with Strangers
7. Small steps - changes made in organizing the room
8. The new weight of the hammer - yourself shaken at the scene
9. Deep Night Conversation - A Honest Story with Soyeon
10. The Hammer's New Weight - Resurrected Resolution
Light from the fingertips (Chapter 11-25)
11. Weekend's Test - Fear Faced With High Shelves
12. Outline of Blurry Dreams - Reunion and Sketch with TAEHYUN
13. Containers Over the Shelf - Meaning of the first shelf I made
14. First Step of Sketch - Designs at the Hardware Store
15. Wall and recognition - the beginning of a new commission and recognition
16. Dropped Screw and Touch - Cooperation with President Park
17. Empty Space in the Hardware Store - A Touch That Changed the Store
18. Shaking on Signage - Signage Fixed with Soyeon
19. Weight of Resolution - The moment you choose two paths
20. Dust in the Field - Growing Up in the Tough Field
21. Shared fingertips - Dreams to share with hardware stores
22. Gap in Time - Efforts to Find Balance
23. Noise of Cooperation - Harmony with Minsu
24. Speed and Balance - Lessons Learned in Speed
25. The Weight of Two Hands - Determination to Catch Two Worlds
Leap for Light (Chapter 26-49)
26. Day 1 of the timetable - the first challenge of dividing the schedule
27. Hand-in-Hand - A Way Open to Cooperation
28. fingertips of choice - choice between design and dream
29. Shadow of design - contest and past conflict
30. Line of Dreams - Resolution to Connect Two Roads
31. Parallel Rhythm - Fingertip Founding Rhythm
32. The Light of the Exhibition - Design in front of people
33. The Light of Decision - The Moment You Choose Both Paths
34. fingertips of waiting - contest results and new opportunities
35. Final Fingertip - The Last Work I Did My Best
36. Light of Results - Joy of Excellence Award and New Start
37. New Touch - Team Joining and Community Center
38. Fingertip of the Workshop - Recognition as a Designer
39. The First Step of the Project - The Beginning of a Bigger Challenge
40. LIGHT OF VALUE - CENTER OPENING AND PEOPLE'S SMILE
41. fingertips of determination - determination to join a formal team
42. Fingertip of Expansion - A Stage Broadened to a Shopping Mall
43. Rhythm of the Field - Outcome in Balance
44. Finishing fingertips - completion of shopping malls and construction
45. Fingertip of the Shopping Mall - Leap to a Bigger Dream
46. LIGHT OF MALLS - CLINTER'S RAVE AND NEW PROPOSE
47. Fingertip of Completion - Perfect Finishing and the Dream of a Department Store
48. Fingertip of the Department Store - Challenge on a Huge Stage
49. The completion of the light - regional development and the fruit of the fingertips
Shining Ending (Chapter 50)
50. The Fruition of Dreams - The moment the whole journey is completed
Episode 1: Inside the Rainy Room
Kang Tae-joon was lying on the bed looking at the ceiling. It was raining outside the window, and the room was full of damp air and darkness. The clock pointed to 3 a.m., but he couldn't sleep. Thoughts that were hanging in his head bothered him endlessly.
"Why am I living like this? What's the meaning of this life?"
Tae-jun reached for a cigarette on the bedside table. Lighting it up and puffing out smoke, he recalled the past. His dream of getting a decent job after graduating from college was shattered in front of the high walls of the job market. After a few failed interviews, he made a living by working part-time, but even recently quit. His parents divorced a long time ago, and his friends lost contact with each other because of their lives. He was alone.
"Don't you think the world doesn't need someone like me?" Tae-jun murmured. His voice was scattered in the air, and there was no answer.
He got out of his seat and approached the window. Over the rain-soaked window, a dim city light could be seen. I once imagined my future in that light, but now it felt just cold and distant. When I touched the window with my fingertips, a cold touch was delivered. At that moment, something my mother had said a long time ago came to his mind.
"Tae-jun, you're a stronger kid than you think. You'll know that one day."
His mother's voice was warm, but Taejun didn't believe it. Strong? He considered himself weak and pathetic. It was raining harder and harder and he knocked on the window. It seemed like he was laughing at his heart.
Taejun threw himself back into bed. Cigarette smoke filled the room, and he closed his eyes. Before falling asleep, this was the last thought that crossed his mind.
"Am I really allowed to live like this? Am I okay to give up everything like this?"
Episode 2: An unfamiliar voice in the rain
The rain still didn't stop. Kang Tae-joon woke up from his bed. The smell of last night's cigarettes still remained in the room, and his head throbbed. He stood in front of the mirror and saw himself. Dull eyes, disheveled hair, and a beard that hadn't been shaved for days. He was unfamiliar with himself in the mirror.
"Is this me? Is this me?"
Taejun sighed and put on his clothes roughly. When he came out of the house, the cold, rainy, and wind hit him in the face. He didn't even have the energy to pack an umbrella and walked with his head down. There was no destination. I just wanted to walk. No, maybe I wanted to run away.
The streets were busy. Workers with umbrellas, riders driving delivery motorcycles, and students passing by with a smile. Among them, Taejun felt like a ghost. No one saw him, and the world was gone without him.
"Hey, stop there!"
Taejun stopped at the sudden voice. Looking up, a man was gesturing towards him in a rain-soaked alley. The man, who appeared to be in his 50s, was wearing an old work suit, with a hammer in his hand. Behind him, a shabby sign was shaking in the rain.
"You, young man, can you help me here?" asked the man. His voice was rough, but his eyes were unexpectedly warm.
Taejun hesitated. 'Why me?' first came to mind, but it didn't come out of his mouth. He slowly approached the man. The sign had the words 'Kim's hardware store' written in a blurry manner, and one side was sitting down with the screw missing.
"It's raining, but if you don't fix it, customers can't come. Can you lend me your hand? I'm exhausted by myself…" The man smiled awkwardly and said.
Taejun nodded silently. Picking up the hammer the man handed him, he began to help fix the sign. The rain soaked his clothes, his hands got cold, but strangely, a corner of his mind moved strangely. Someone talked to him for the first time in a long time, and after a long time, he felt like he needed it.
"Young man, that's strong. What's your name?" the man asked after finishing the work.
"Depression... I'm Taejun." My voice cracked. It was awkward to talk.
"Taejun? That's a nice name. I guess they named it to make it clear like Taejun," the man said with a chuckle. Instead of answering, Taejun raised the corner of his mouth awkwardly. What a clear Taejun? That was too far from who he is now.
The man took two 1,000 won bills out of his pocket and held them out to Taejun. "Thank you, get this. Get some coffee at least."
Taejun refused to take the money, but he eventually got it because of the man's insistence. Leaving the hardware store, he looked down at the W1,000 bill in his hand. Somehow, the crumpled bill in the rain looked like himself.
On the way back home, Taejun suddenly thought, 'To be able to help someone... 'Is it really?' The question caused a small wave in his mind. It was still raining, but somehow it felt a little less cold.
Episode 3: Inside a Blurry Mirror
Back home, Kang took off his wet clothes and threw them on the floor. It was still dark and wet inside the room. He sat on the couch and looked down at the two 1,000-won bills. Moisture dripped from the crumpled bills. The hardware store man's laughter hung in my head.
'Thank you, young man.'
Why does that sound so strange? Tae-jun rubbed his face with his hand. The fact that he was helpful to someone after a long time shook his mind strangely. Normally, I would have passed it over saying, "It's just a coincidence," but today the thought was not easily organized.
He got up from his seat and headed for the bathroom. As I stood in front of the mirror, I caught my eyes covered with rain. Dark circles under my eyes, pale skin, and blank eyes. He was like another person in the mirror. Taejun reached out and touched the mirror. Water droplets flowed over the cold glass.
"You... Who is it?" he murmured. The voice was small, but it rang out in the room.
At that moment, a long time ago memory occurred to me. It was when I was a freshman in college. He used to talk about his dreams late into the night with his friends. "I'm going to be a good designer. I want to do something that impresses people." Tae-jun's eyes were sparkling and he had high expectations for the future. But the dream became increasingly blurred in the face of job failure and the weight of reality.
"Where did I go back then?"
As soon as Tae-jun tried to take his eyes off the mirror, the smartphone suddenly vibrated. When I looked at the screen, it was an unfamiliar number. I hesitated whether to answer it or not, and eventually pressed the call button.
"Hello?" his voice cracked.
"Oh, you're Kang Tae-joon, right?" He was a woman's voice. He had a bright and firm tone. "I met you at a hardware store today. I called you because Mr. Kim asked you to give me your number."
Taejun froze for a moment. The hardware store? What's wrong with him?
"What? Why me?" he asked, puzzled.
"My uncle said, thanks to your help today, I fixed the sign well. But he has more things to do. Can you come back tomorrow if you have time?"" The woman paused. "Oh, I'm Kim's daughter. My name is Kim So-yeon."
Tae-jun didn't know what to answer. The sudden request made me feel dizzy. "Well... There's nothing I'm good at...”
"It's okay. My uncle really wants Taejun to come. Can you help me?" Soyeon's voice was soft but firm.
Taejun hesitated. "What else can I do?" and "Maybe... 'Maybe it's all right?' entwined his mind. Eventually he replied in a small voice. 'Okay. I'll go tomorrow.'
When he hung up on the phone, Tae-jun looked in the mirror again. It was still blurry, rP, but somehow his eyes looked a little different. The rain subsided before I knew it, and a faint moonlight permeated the room from the window.
Episode 4: Between the Hammer and the Nail
The next morning, Kang Tae-joon woke up from his bed. The rain stopped, but Tae-jun was still gray. The phone call with Kim So-yeon was going through my head last night. "Why did I say I would go?" I regret a lot, but I couldn't even back down because I had already made a promise.
He washed his face roughly and changed his clothes. I looked in the mirror and still looked haggard, but I felt a little more strength in his eyes than yesterday. 'It's not a big deal. You just have to go and help yourself,' he said, before leaving the house.
When I arrived at the hardware store, Mr. Kim was talking to a customer at the door. As soon as I saw Taejun, a wrinkled smile spread on his face.
"Oh, Tae-jun is here! I really wanted to call him back to thank you yesterday." The uncle happily extended his hand. Tae-jun nodded as he shook hands awkwardly.
"What can I do for you?" Taejun asked in a small voice.
"I need to clean up the warehouse here, but I can't do it alone. Soyeon is helping me, but she's busy, too…" The old man pointed toward the warehouse and said.
Then, a Soyeon Kim came out of a hardware store. Looking in her late 20s, she was wearing a neat shirt and jeans. Unlike the bright voice on the phone yesterday, when I saw her in person, I felt a calm and determined atmosphere.
"Oh, you're here? It's Kang Tae-joon I told you about yesterday, right?" Soyeon said with a smile. Tae-jun nodded. Her eyes were so clear that she felt even more humble for a moment.
When I entered the warehouse, I noticed dusty shelves and scattered tools. Tae-jun held a hammer, nailed it at the direction of the uncle, and began to move the heavy box. My head was complicated even as I moved. 'What am I doing here? What is the point of this?'
"Tae-jun, you're good with your hands. You're strong," she said, organizing the box next to Soyeon. Tae-jun hesitated at her comment. Compliment? When was the last time you heard it?
"It's just... It's not much." Tae-jun glossed over. Maybe because the compliment was unfamiliar, my face got a little hot.
At the end of the work, the old man handed me some hot coffee. "I think I'm going to live a little today thanks to the young man. Thank you," the old man's voice was sincere.
Tae-joon grabbed his coffee and came out of the warehouse. Standing next to Soyeon, he said, "Your uncle is talking about Tae-joon, and he said he was impressed by the fixing of your sign yesterday. Thank you, too."
"Oh... Yes." Tae-jun was speechless. How can a thank you sound so heavy? He lowered his head as he took a sip of coffee. The back of his mind tickled. The fact that he was helpful to someone can't be so unfamiliar.
On the way back home, Taejun recalled a hammer in his hand. The feeling of being heavy and cold was strangely warmly remembered. 'Am I really a useful person?' The question still remained unanswered, but it felt a little clearer than yesterday.
Episode 5: Questions in the Dark
When Kang Tae-joon returned home, he threw himself on the sofa. His hand still had the smell of iron in the hardware store. It was dark outside the window, and the silence in the room made his breathing sound louder. He closed his eyes and remembered today. Kim's laughter, Soyeon's clear voice, and the warm coffee they gave him.
"Did I really help you?"
The thought filled my mind for a moment, but soon a familiar darkness came. 'What are you doing? This isn't even changing my life.' Tae-jun covered his face with his hands. A small warmth at the hardware store briefly shook his inner self, but he still felt pathetic. What value would it be to himself, who couldn't get a job, lost his dream, and lived like dust in his room by himself.
Then, the smartphone on the desk flashed. When I looked at the screen, it was a text message. It was a Soyeon Kim.
"Taejun, thank you so much for today. If you can help me again next time, please contact me. If you don't mind, can you come again?"
Taejun read the text several times. The word 'again?' stuck in his head. He stopped trying to write back. 'What else can I do? If I go again, I will be the same person.' My fingertips shook. Eventually, he didn't reply.
He got up and paced around the room. On the desk, the portfolio he had written a long time ago was covered in dust. The papers, which contained his dream of becoming a designer, now looked old and meaningless. Tae-jun reached out and picked up the portfolio, then put it down again. I didn't have the courage to open it.
At that moment, I suddenly remembered the words of my long-time friend Taehyun. "Taejun, you're too scared. The biggest problem is giving up without trying." I laughed at it then, but now it stuck in my chest. Taehyun was now pursuing a career in a booming company. On the other hand, he was standing here, in a dark room, without doing anything.
"Because I'm scared? Is that why I'm like this?"
Taejun clenched his fist. Strong enough that his nails penetrated his palm. He approached the window, inhaling deeply. The city lights that I could see out the window still felt far away. But today, there was a moment when I permeated even a little bit into the light. That short time when I was nailing with a hammer at a hardware store.
The smartphone flashed again. This time, it was Soyeon's message again.
"I'm sorry to send you late. Just in case. If you don't mind, shall we have dinner near the hardware store tomorrow evening? You're welcome."
Taejun stared at the screen. 'Do you want to eat with me?' His mind became confused. I wanted to say no. I was afraid to meet people, to talk with someone. But at the same time, something caught him. A small voice whispered, 'If you go... What's going to be different?"
He began to write back. My hands were shaking, but I slowly completed the text.
"Yes, it's all right."
The moment he pressed the transfer button, Tae-jun stopped breathing. He couldn't tell what he had just decided. But one thing was certain. That a little light began to flicker in the dark.
Episode 6: Awkward Table
At 6 p.m., Kang was standing in front of a small restaurant near a hardware store. The word "supreme meal" was written on an old sign, and the savory smell of kimchi-jjigae leaked out from the inside. He poked his hand in his pocket and hesitated. "It would be even stranger if we didn't get in here when we came all the way here." He opened the door, pressing himself.
Inside, Mr. Kim and Soyeon were already in place. There were kimchi stew, egg rolls, and simple side dishes on the table. As soon as the uncle saw Taejun, he waved his hand.
"Oh, Taejun! Welcome, sit down!" the uncle's voice still roared.
Taejun sat down, bending his head awkwardly. Soyeon smiled and said, "I'm glad you're not late. Aren't you hungry? Hurry up and eat."
"Oh... Yes." Taejun held up the spoon in front of him. When I took a bite of warm kimchi stew, the taste of home-cooked meals that I had not felt in a long time spread in my mouth. He suddenly realized that he had rarely eaten properly in recent months.
"Taejun, where do you live? You don't live far away, do you?" he asked.
"Yes, it's about a 20-minute walk," Taejun replied briefly. It was still awkward to keep talking long.
"Really? Then come visit often. We need a talented young man at the hardware store," said the old man with a chuckle. Soyeon glanced slightly next to her.
"Dad, don't put too much pressure on me. Taejun, you must be scared."
"No, when did I do that!" the old man grumbled playfully. Tae-jun's mouth corner went up a little without realizing it. It was the warmth of people who had not felt it in a long time.
But the warmth did not last long. Soyeon suddenly asked, "Taejun, what do you usually do? Do you work?"
The question sharply stabbed Tae-jun in the chest. He put down his spoon and hesitated for a moment. "Ah… I'm taking a break now." My voice has gone down.
"Oh, I see. There are a lot of people who are having a hard time these days. It's okay, we can take our time to find them," Soyeon said softly. But the softness felt rather heavy on Taejun. 'Slowly? Do I have that time left?'
At the end of the meal, the man got up from his seat and said, "Tae-jun, come again next time. I'll pay for the meal, so don't worry." Tae-jun said thank you and left the restaurant.
On his way back home, Taejun stopped. Taejun started to see the stars little by little now. He reflected on today with his hands in his pockets. Warm rice, people's laughter, and a voice that needed him. All of it was strange and nice, but at the same time, I was nervous.
'What can I give them? Is there anything I can do well?' the question asked. He looked up and looked at the stars. They were small, dim lightings, but somehow they caught my eye.
When I got home and opened the door, an empty room greeted him. But today, the empty space felt a little less cold. Tae-jun lay on the bed and closed his eyes. Before falling asleep, the last thing that crossed his mind was Soyeon's voice.
"You can go slowly."
"Can you really do that?" Tae-jun asked himself. The answer is still far away, but the question itself felt a little lighter than yesterday.
Episode 7: A Little Step
The morning sun seeped through the curtains. Kang Tae-joon woke up to think of last night's meal. Mr. Kim's roaring smile, Soyeon's soft tone, and the warm taste of kimchi-jjigae. It all felt distant like a dream. He reached for his forehead. His head was heavy, but strangely, the back of his mind felt lighter than yesterday.
'You can go slowly,' Soyeon's words kept hovering. Tae-jun got up from his seat and opened the window. The cold morning air came into the room, pushing away the smell of dust. He suddenly looked around the room. Messy clothes, piles of garbage, and a portfolio covered with dust on the desk. This room seemed to show his life exactly as it was.
"I can't keep living like this..." Taejun murmured. His voice was small, but there was something like a resolution in it.
He took out the garbage bag and started organizing the room. He threw away the trash, folded the clothes, and cleaned the dust. It was awkward because it was my first time in months, but as I moved my hands, my head became clearer. When he got the portfolio on the desk, he paused. After hesitating to open it, I finally put it in the desk drawer. I didn't have the courage to face it yet.
The room was still empty, but there seemed to be more room to breathe than before. Tae-jun sat on the sofa and picked up his smartphone. Soyeon's text was still left.
"If you don't mind, shall we have dinner near the hardware store tomorrow night?"
He stared at the screen for a moment and then began to write back.
"Yes, it's all right. Please let me know if there's anything else you can do for the hardware store."
After pressing the transfer button, Tae-jun took a deep breath. I couldn't believe what he had just sent. I was surprised by myself, "If there was anything to help?" It was something I would never have brought up normally.
A few minutes later, Soyeon replied.
"Oh, great! I told you so, and you're very happy to see me. Please come to the hardware store at around 5 o'clock tomorrow. Thank you, Taejun!"
Tae-jun felt the corners of his mouth slightly rising only after reading the text. The fact that someone was waiting for him was unfamiliar and strangely warm.
That afternoon, Taejun left home. There was no destination. I just wanted to walk. As I walked down the street, I noticed a familiar scene. The alley where he held a hammer in front of the hardware store on a rainy day. He paused and looked up at the sign. There were still traces of his fix.
'There's what I did.' The thought caused a small stir in my mind. Tae-jun put his hand in his pocket and moved back. The wind blew, and his hair shook slightly.
On the way back home, Taejun suddenly realized. Today, he never thought, 'Do I not need someone?' That surprised him. Still anxious, still not trusting himself, but something was changing. Very small and slow.
Before lying in bed and closing his eyes, Tae-jun recalled tomorrow. A hardware store, Mr. Kim, Soyeon, and something he might be able to do. A faint smile crossed his mouth as he fell asleep.
Episode 8: Heavy Hammer
At 5 p.m., Kang Tae-joon arrived in front of the hardware store. Under the sign, Mr. Kim was smiling, handing tools to the customer. When he saw Tae-jun, the uncle gestured with pleasure.
"Taejun, you're welcome! Come on in!" the uncle's voice rang through the alley.
Taejun nodded and went inside. The inside of the hardware store was full of warm air with a familiar smell of iron. Soyeon smiled at Taejun after paying at the counter.
"You came? I'm glad I could do something to help you today," Soyeon said. She had an old notebook in her hand.
"What should I do?" Tae-jun asked, and the man pointed toward the warehouse.
"I need to repair the old shelf over there. It's dangerous because the screw is loose and something is shaking. I trust Tae-joon's dexterity and leave it to him."
Without hesitation, Tae-jun headed to the warehouse with a hammer and a driver. Fixing the shelf was not difficult. He tightened the screw, tapped it slightly with a hammer, and secured the shaking part tightly. The more I moved my hands, the more familiar rhythm I got. He suddenly realized. That this simple task makes my mind strangely calm.
By the end of the work, Soyeon approached. "Wow, that's neat. Taejun, I think you're really good."
"It's just... I did," Tae-jun answered awkwardly. The compliment was still unfamiliar.
Then, the door of the hardware store opened and a strange man came in. The man, who appeared to be in his early 30s, approached the counter with a feisty look on his face. "Mr. Kim, did you get the tools you ordered last time?"
The old man replied with a bewildered look, "Oh, that's... The delivery has been delayed a little, so it will come around tomorrow…”
"What? I'll be late tomorrow!" The man's voice grew louder. Tae-jun solidified himself by hearing the sound in the warehouse.
"Sorry, let me check." The man tried to soothe, but the man couldn't hold his temper.
"No, are you kidding me here? If you can't even run a hardware store properly, why are you opening the door?" the man slammed the counter with his hand.
At that moment, a long time ago memory crossed Tae-jun's mind. The day his father shouted at his mother. The sharp voice and the sound of broken glass cups filled the house. He unwittingly clasped the hammer in his hand.
Soyeon stepped forward and said, "Customer, calm down. We'll try to solve it as soon as possible."
But the man didn't back down. "Solve it quickly? I'm going to give you something right now!" his eyes turned to Tae-jun. "Hey, what's that? Are you a part-timer? Give me a hand!"
Taejun froze. His voice didn't come out. The thought, 'What can I do?' filled his head. He bowed his head and put the hammer down. His hands shook.
Eventually, the man calmed him down and apologized, and the man grumbled and left the hardware store. Soyeon sighed and approached Taejun. "Are you okay? You were a little surprised, right?"
"Yes... It's okay," Tae-jun forced himself to answer. But inside, he wasn't okay at all. At that moment, he couldn't do anything. I wanted to help, but my body didn't move. The weakness struck him again.
On his way back home, Taejun recalled a hammer in his hand. Why did the weight, which felt so solid when working, just feel so heavy now? He shook his head. It seemed that the day of small courage was sinking back into the darkness.
Episode 9: The Deep Night Conversation
Back home, Kang locked the door. The room was filled with darkness again. He sat on the sofa and looked down at his hand. The hand that held the hammer at the hardware store felt heavy now. Today's last scene couldn't get out of my head. The customer's sharp voice, the uncle's embarrassed face, and himself who couldn't do anything.
'Why did I do that? Why didn't I say anything?' Tae-jun repeatedly clenched and released his fist. The feeling of helplessness at the moment weighed on him. He pulled out his smartphone and stopped trying to text Soyeon. He couldn't know what to say, apologize, or make excuses.
Then, the phone rang. The name on the screen was Soyeon Kim. Tae-jun hesitated and pressed the call button.
"Hello?" his voice cracked.
"Taejun, it's me. Are you okay?" Soyeon's voice was calm but worried.
"Yes... It's all right. It's just, today..." Tae-jun couldn't talk.
"You were surprised by the customer earlier, weren't you? I was a little embarrassed, too, but I contacted you because Tae-jun seemed to be having a harder time," Soyeon said carefully.
Tae-jun was silent for a moment. Then, he said, "Well... I couldn't do anything. I wanted to help, but I just felt frozen. I was so pathetic...”
"What do you mean heartbroken? Everyone gets embarrassed when something like that happens for the first time. It happens to me a lot, too," Soyeon's voice continued softly. "Tae-joon's presence alone would have made my dad less tired."
"But still... I should have done something..." Taejun bowed his head.
Soyeon caught her breath for a moment. "Taejun, is this question okay? Why are you pushing yourself like that?"
The question took Taejun's breath away. "What do you mean I'm surprised?"
"I think Tae-jun is too strict with himself. If you don't do something well, you blame yourself right away, and you try not to look at the things you did well," Soyeon continued quietly. "Today alone, fixing the shelf really helped me a lot, don't you think about that?"
Tae-jun was speechless. Soyeon's words stabbed him in the chest. He always saw only his own shortcomings. Good things always felt small, and failures came big. "That… It's because it's me. I'm usually this weak...”
"What do you mean weak? A weak person doesn't even come to fix the shelf with a hammer," Soyeon said firmly. "Tae-jun, you're already strong enough for me and my dad."
The words caused a stir in Taejun's mind. 'Strong enough.' The words were unfamiliar and strangely warm. Instead of answering, he took a deep breath.
"It's late. Have a good night's sleep, Tae-jun. Please come again tomorrow if you can come to the hardware store. Dad will be waiting for you," Soyeon said with a smile.
"Yes... Thank you." Taejun managed to reply. The call was cut off, and he put his phone down.
The night went by. Taejun approached the window and looked up at the star. Soyeon's words kept ringing in my head. 'Could I be strong?' The question still went unanswered, but I wanted to think about the possibility for the first time.
Before lying in bed and closing his eyes, Tae-jun decided. He said he would go to the hardware store again tomorrow. This time, I wanted to be less nervous when I lifted the hammer.
Episode 10: The Hammer's New Weight
At 10 a.m., Kang Tae-joon opened a hardware store. The sun permeated the alley thanks to the clearer weather than yesterday. Mr. Kim was organizing his books at the counter, and when Tae-jun came in, he looked up with pleasure.
"Oh, Tae-jun! You really came yesterday after Soyeon said it. Good job, come on!" the man gestured and laughed.
"Yes... If there's anything else I can do for you," Tae-jun said carefully. His voice was smaller, but he sounded stronger than yesterday.
"Good for you! I just happened to be a little busy today, so I didn't have enough hands. Can you help me organize my tools here?" the man pointed to the shelf.
Taejun nodded and held up the hammer and driver. He tightened the screws while organizing the old toolbox, and put the scattered tools in place. The more I moved, the more familiar rhythm came back. Yesterday's helplessness did not completely disappear, but the hand holding the hammer shook a little less.
While working, Soyeon came into the hardware store. She had two cups of coffee in her hand. "Tae-jun, here. You've been busy in the morning, haven't you?"
"Oh... Thank you." Tae-joon took his coffee. When a warm paper cup reached my hand, last night's conversation came to mind.
"Was it okay yesterday? Was I too straightforward?"" Soyeon asked carefully.
"No, it was fine. Rather... It was an opportunity to think," Tae-jun said, slightly raising his head. So-yeon smiled at the words.
"That's a relief. Seeing Tae-joon come here, I think he's a really strong person." Her voice was still firm and warm.
Taejun took a sip of coffee instead of answering the question. 'Strong.' The word was still unfamiliar, but today it felt a little less distant.
Then, the man approached me. "Tae-jun, are you free this weekend? I was asked to organize the warehouse of the store next to our hardware store, but I thought it would be hard for me to do it alone…”
"Me?" Taejun asked in surprise.
"Yes, you! You're dexterous and diligent. I'll give you some money, so what do you think?" said the old man with a chuckle.
Tae-jun hesitated. 'Can I do it?' crossed my mind, but when I saw Soyeon nodding her head next to me, I opened my mouth. "Yes… I'll try."
"Okay! Then I'll see you on the weekend!" said the old man satisfactorily.
As he left the hardware store after finishing his work, Tae-jun looked down at the hammer in his hand. The heavy feeling when he first held it came a little differently now. It was still heavy, but the weight felt like a tool that could create something instead of weighing on himself.
On his way back home, Taejun looked up at Taejun. Sunlight was shining through the clouds. He suddenly realized. Today, he was someone he needed, and the fact filled the back of his mind. He didn't fully trust himself yet, but he wanted to take a step forward at least now.
When I got home and opened the door, the organized room met him. Tae-jun opened the desk drawer and took out his portfolio. I shook off the dust and opened the first page. The designs I drew a long time ago caught my eye. My hands were shaking a little, but he didn't cover the book this time.
"You can go slowly." Soyeon's words came back to mind. Tae-jun took a deep breath and smiled. It was a small, faint smile, but something was coming to life in it.
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